A New Year, A New More Mindful You?

As we look to begin a new year, it is common for us to take stock, to reflect on our achievements during the year just past and to start to plan for the new year. You may have decided that you need to take more exercise, to lose a little weight, or to train for a better job, but how many of us consider the possibility of actively improving our emotional fitness. If you have been becoming more stressed, or if your relationships are not as harmonious as you would like, or if you are burdened with low self-esteem or doubts that are holding you back.

These are often symptoms that you have an internalised self-critic at work and signs that you need to take care of your emotional wellbeing and develop a more compassionate self. Self compassion is the very opposite of self pity in that it encourages you to develop a caring but wiser approach to managing difficult emotions so that rather than using self-sabotaging behaviours such as overeating to cope you take an active but kind interest in your own emotional wellbeing. You can improve your fitness through exercise and diet, you can improve your intellect through education and skills training but to improve your emotional wellbeing you need something quite different. That something may well be mindfulness training.

In February, we are holding our next Stress Management And Relaxation Techniques (SMART) programme at the Norwich Wellbeing Centre, a 6 week course that teaches you to create a more positive relationship with yourself. Using mindfulness, meditation and visualisation it connects your emotional wellbeing with your real-world existence where family and work responsibilities and pressures are ever present. You will learn how anxiety is just as much a physical as an emotional condition and how to create a more harmonious mind-body connection. You will explore your own relationship with anxiety and how anxiety can represent a low-level nagging fear, or sometimes terror, which can sometimes give rise to outbursts of anger.

You will learn how to treat yourself with compassion and to extend your feelings of compassion to those you love. In this way you will learn to treat yourself more kindly but without destructive self-pity.

The wide adoption of mindfulness for emotional wellbeing stems from the power that mindfulness has in teaching us to live in the present; to learn to adopt “being mode” rather than “doing mode”. In western culture we tend to default to living in doing mode in which we are consumed by the need to plan, to achieve and to acquire. Often this leads a disconnect in what we become in order to live and what we would like to be which in turn leads to emotional distress and the symptoms of stress.

Mindfulness teaches us to enter being mode in which we live in the present. This does not suggest shrinking away from responsibilities or ambition but teaches us to enjoy this moment, which makes us more effective and can help us achieve while at the same time enjoying this moment and this task. We learn to be mindful by using breathing, meditation and visualisation, but this is only the start. Can we be mindful in a meeting or when with the family? Can we present in this moment time and in this place with these people? Can we look on ourselves and others with compassion?

For more information about the Stress Management And Relaxation course, please visits www.innercalm.co.uk. The course is limited to a maximum of 12 people. The normal cost of the course is £180 but there is a £30 discount for places booked by the 8^th January and a further £30 discount for liking the the Inner Calm Facebook page. At £120, perhaps a place on the course would make a fantastic Christmas gift.   

Stress Management And Relaxation Techniques Course Coming to Norwich

Over the course of the last year or so I have been focusing on writing and preparing a wellbeing course based on mindfulness concepts. Mindfulness is recognised by NICE as an affective treatment for depression and anxiety and it is widely used along with CBT by the NHS Wellbeing Service who also offer mindfulness-based wellbeing classes. However, the group sizes tend to be large and the focus tends to be on problems rather than exploring solutions, limited to meditation rather than on self-exploration and self-development. The goals I set myself in creating the course, therefore, were to teach mindfulness in a way that would connect with real people in the real world, that would encourage self-development, and to teach only to small groups where each individual would receive an adequate level of attention.

Developing the programme needed extensive research and I also took the time to take in a wellbeing trainer training course with the SMART Foundation (http://smartfoundations.co.uk) to develop the skills needed to teach the course. In October, I present a six-week wellbeing course with the title Stress Management And Relaxation Techniques (SMART).

I couldn't help but to be struck by this use of the SMART acronym which I am more familiar with as a self-improvement tool from the business sector and felt less than comfortable about using it in the title of a wellbeing course. But, the more I thought about what I had set out to create in the course, the more SMART made sense as a way to help professionals connect with mindfulness.

Specific

The Specific goal aims to create a better sense of wellbeing in the attendees and teach them ways to reduce and cope with Stress, to Manage the Stress. Along with stress and anxiety individuals will often experience depression which reduces effectiveness at work and undermines relationships. Mindfulness teaches us how to actively regulate our physical hormonal states and so manage our emotions.

Measurable

The Measurable goal enables the attendees to notice over time reduced symptoms of Stress. Perhaps they might sleep better, find less need for alcohol, and enjoy more harmonious relationships with friends, colleagues and loved ones. They might even experience clearer thinking which will become obvious as life goals feel easier to achieve.

Achievable

The Achievable goal is addressed in that the course focuses on an honest self exploration of who we wish to believe we are versus what the world perceives us to be. This can be very challenging but by taking a little time out, by exploring and developing our personal “brand” we bring these two viewpoints closer together.

Relevant

The goal of being Relevant is met by relating the programme to the real-world experience of each individual. The title of Jon Kabat-Zin's book sums this up perfectly. “Wherever We Go, There We Are”. Withdrawing from relationships or work does not make anxiety and stress go away as it will always follow us. So, the course does not advocate withdrawing from the world or relationships but encourages finding ways to move towards them by escaping the habitual negative messages we send to ourselves or receive from others. By learning to look upon yourself and others with compassion you learn to take responsibility for your own emotions and let those that need to take responsibility for theirs.

Time-bound

The goal of being Time-bound is met by staging the course over 6 weeks during which attendees will take away exercises in meditation and visualisation, develop the ability to be in the present moment, and will develop a personal "brand" which will remain with them always.

About the Course

The course commences at 6:30 on Friday 23^rd October for 6 weeks at the Norwich Wellbeing Centre. Yes, on Friday! But this enables attendees to find some time over the weekend to consolidate their learning. It helps to have an open mind when attending the course but I choose not to ignore those who are more sceptical? What I wanted to create was something that addressed real-world problems for those that work hard, have responsibilities that cannot be ignored, or those who want to find ways to cope with the pressures of life.

For more information about the Stress Management And Relaxation Techniques course, please visits www.innercalm.co.uk. The course is limited to a maximum of 12 people and there is a substantial discount for early booking.